I didn’t create Ashinine as an arena for speaking about relationship issues. I didn’t start it with the idea of spreading around countless literary quotations and excerpts. I certainly didn’t develop the site with an idea in mind of speaking about my daily hardships, struggles with depression, or my meetings with my therapist. Over time, it has become a collection of these things, yes. Instead, my perception of Ashinine is that of an avenue towards finding happiness for myself, for now, if not for others. In many ways this has already happened, though not in the ways I expected.

Already, I’ve had relative strangers, friends of friends, old acquaintances approach me to tell me they’ve been able to relate to something found within these few pages, whether an insight into my sadness or an attractive quote from Tolstoy. I say this by no means to laud myself, but rather to illustrate a point I’m often guilty of forgetting: there are people out there like me. I know it’s a point that comes across as a bit crass and self-important, but I think one of the biggest traps of my depression and social anxiety is my readiness to believe that I’m in this alone — I’m the only person who could possibly have this emotion, this thought, this experience, this situation. The thought that others may feel this way is nothing short of terrifying to me. In some of my better moments, those of starkest clarity, I remind myself of what is, to me, probably the most important lesson in life: we are all on the same track. I can’t stress this enough. We are all trying to be good people, we all want to love and to be loved, and we all want to go to bed with a smile on our face. Profound words from one who is (sadly) anonymous:

“The general love of humanity… a virtue hitherto quite nameless among us, and which we will venture to call ‘humanism,’ for the time has come to create a word for such a beautiful and necessary thing.”

I’ll take this opportunity to tell you something I wish more people would say. If you’re reading this right now, and especially if you’re not, know that I love you. I love you for who you are, for who you’re trying to be, and for who you’ve always been. We will all make it through this life and we will all be happy.

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6 Responses to ashinine.

  1. Pamela Goode says:

    Fabulous post. I love you too.

  2. amy says:

    wow… you are an amazing writer… keep up the great work…

  3. Witty asshole says:

    Be happy and enjoy what’s around you. I had no idea.

    Sincerely,

    Long lost friend full of wit – turned asshole.

  4. Chris says:

    Thank you for sharing. Your last two posts are so raw and honest. Life is just so freaking hard sometimes! You are not alone in your struggles. I think you are a beautiful, amazing woman and i send my love your way… and a hug. : ) xo

  5. Прикольный пост, на рсску подписался. Будем читать

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